What Do I Know?

This is a fairly quick sketch of the overall timeline of the Star Wars Galaxy as I’ve been running it since my Saga campaign, and it’s a shared timeline with another GM, from whom I inherited the EotE Beta campaign and who is going to be picking up where I leave off when he starts running Age of Rebellion.  It’s kind of exciting having a shared universe within a shared universe.

Grexl Zor is a conspiracy blogger that is an associate of one of the player characters in the campaign, so I thought it might be fun to throw in his take on galactic events.

Circa 3900 BBY:  A team of Republic agents, originally thrown together as puppets of a Twi’lek mastermind, eventually uncovers surviving Sith in the Galaxy.  The Galactic Senate refused to believe the operatives, and they operated in secret to gather more information.

The Wookiee Jedi Rrowlaur holds off a Torgorian Sith on the Taris Reclaimation Station, and fights him long enough for his allies and much of the staff to escape, but is blamed for failing to stop “terrorists” from bringing down the station, despite giving his life in the effort.

Despite finding increasing evidence of the Sith survival, the Republic team manages to become victims of politics, and end up in prison awaiting charges, when they are broken out of prison by their former commanding officer.  The team disappears into the Unknown Regions, following a lead from the Togorian Sith that points his master and a secret, ancient virus hidden on a lost ship since before the time of the Republic.

The droid T3-R9 eventually returns to the Republic from the Unknown Regions, and downloads his personality to multiple other bodies over time.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  You can’t trust anything from this era.  You know that Rrowlaur guy?  The Jedi didn’t mention this in any official record, but there were rumors that his master went totally Dark Side and tried to kill the Jedi Council back then.

My take?  Rorwlaur wasn’t an incompetent padawan that failed to stop some terrorists . . . he was a Sith advance agent, probing the Republic for his masters.  I mean, look at what happened just a few centuries later!

3 Months ABY:  A viral Holonet video spreads across the galaxy depicting a Rodian and a Jawa spectacularly crashing an airspeeder on Imperial Center/Coruscant and catapulting into the lower levels of the city.

Laurika Nain, a well respected and connected Zeltron business woman, disappeared after a business meeting on Coruscant.  Eventually considered legally deceased, her body is never found.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  Rumor has it that Laurika Nain was the mistress of the Emperor, which is why she got such choice concessions for her businesses.  Lots of reports have placed her at various resort worlds, so it may be that she just got tired of His Wrinkliness and is living out her years with a string of secret identities and a mountain of credits.  I mean, she is a Zeltron, why wouldn’t she hop from resort to resort for the rest of her life?

4 Months ABY:  In the Expansion Region, Moff Angrial Tovin purchases a large number of droids to help automate his fleet, and the droids malfunction, causing his entire defense fleet to jump to an unknown location.  His sector being vulnerable, Moff Ontar Alimund sends reinforcements from his neighboring sector.

Moffs traditionally command a single sector with fifty systems, but in the New Order, this structure has been waived at the approval of the Emperor in the past, and Moff Alimund is awarded nearly half of Tovin’s domain when Tovin resigns in disgrace, and subsequently disappears. Shortly after Tovin’s disappearance, Moff Alimund’s own son goes missing as well.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  Moff Alimund’s son was heavily invested in Gloridum chives and Ooftan Foodbeasts.  Moff Alimund played Laserball and Greenput at the University.  Tovin was part of the Nexu Leauge.  Tovin sold his stock in Krangmar Breweries.  When you put all of that together, what happened in this tragic incident is so obvious.

6 Months ABY:  Reports of Moff Alimund’s son on Nar Shaddaa prove to be false, at least according to official Imperial records. Several of the capital ships from Moff Tovin’s fleet resurface in the Tapani sector, attacking a gathering of Tapani nobles and stealing a Gladiator class Star Destroyer.  The attacks are linked to the mysterious Zann Consortium.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  You all don’t believe the Zann Consortium exists, do you?  Between Black Sun and the Hutt families, and raiding an Inner Rim sector like a bunch of spiced up HyperCurlers on Orto Plutonia its obvious that the Zann Consortium is a made up thing that the Empire throws around, just like Alderaan blowing up.

What, you didn’t know Alderaan is still there?  Its just under Imperial Sequester.  It was the first place where the Corellian Brandy and Bantha Steak thing was confirmed, and the Empire wants to keep a lid on it, because the Nerf Herder lobby on Alderaan has a lot more power than anyone realizes.

7 Months ABY:  Grand Admiral Grant puts together a task force to hunt down the Zann Consortium fleet that has been plaguing the Tapani sector, including members of Vader’s 501st on temporary assignment.  The Zann Consortium appears to scatter after several direct battles with the task force in a short amount of time.

A strange solar anomaly in the Kurrium system destroys the mining colony of Kurrium IV.  The Empire sequester the system as they send in science teams to study the solar anomaly in hopes of keeping something similar from happening to other systems, at least without warning.

A relatively famous sports figure, the Wookiee gladiator Tor’Waar, is caught on a holovid that spreads across the HoloNet violently murdering a large number Mining Guild security forces.  Further research shows that he is implicated in the death of a spectator on Cadomai Prime, and his employer quickly disavows him.

COMPNOR seizes on this video to show why Wookiees should continue to be on the “semi-sentient” list despite their technical skills, due to their inability to control their animal urges.  Tor’Waar is quickly apprehended and turned over to the Mining Guild, who have gotten special dispensation to question the Wookiee about his activities.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  I’ve meet a lot of Wookiees.  Wookiees are good people.  Tor’Waar isn’t a Wookiee.  He is the result of Imperial experiments to breed a Wookiee with a Wampa.  No, I don’t think it happens naturally.  I’m pretty sure there is gene therapy involved.  But there you have it.

If you don’t believe me, do a ShadowNet search on some guy called Doctor Smith and look up the Wampa Sanction.  Scary stuff, but just be glad the Gungan crossbreeding program he proposed never got past the theoretical stage.

8 Months ABY:  Tourist activity on Manaan is slowed with rumors of murder victims and disappearance beginning to surface, but eventually the mystery is solved when local planetary records show that all of the victims were on the same chartered sea skimmer which malfunctioned and was lost at sea.  The planetary governor brings in Imperial safety inspectors to insure there will be no repeat of the accident.

Grexl Zor’s Take:  All of the people that died were members of some weird pleasure cult.  They did “rituals,” and stuff, but some videos got out.  Couldn’t find them myself, but there are some rumors that Laurika Nain was involved, and, well, you know . . . she’s Zeltron.

So anyway, jealous husband, sea trooper friends, and that secret device that the Empire has for controlling mollusks, and the next thing you know, tentacles in places even a pleasure cult wouldn’t normally thing about.  Sad and disgusting stuff, really.

9 Months ABY:  Tor’Waar is rescued from Mining Guild custody by an alien organization known as the Undefeated Hand, based out of the Outer Rim and Wildspace.  They promise aliens rising up and bringing war across the galaxy, and declare Tor’Waar their leader.

The Undeafeated Hand is not seen again after this event.

A mysterious video appears on the HoloNet briefly implying a terrorist attack on Eriadu.  A Rebel Alliance terrorist cell is blamed for the plot and arrested, but this doesn’t keep a massive explosion from killing a thousand bystanders in Tarkin Memorial Plaza.  The planetary governor issues a statement that the plot was carried out by droids programmed by the Rebel Alliance cell that had just been arrested and that the droid part of the plot were sadly missed.

All droids on Eriadu are subject to mandatory mind wipe as a matter of public safety.

Grexl Zor:  Okay, by now I’m sure you all know that the Rebel Alliance is a myth as well, so the Empire can cover up anything they don’t want to pin on things like the Zann Consortium.  So what happened here?

Certain fuel cells made by Seinar Fleet Systems are heavily volatile, and react to a manipulated photon matrix.  Which means, you pass through a big enough holographic display, and BOOM, there goes your brand new speeder, all over the place.